Column 8
Sydney Morning Herald
Friday February 11, 2005
The response to Saska Graville's query - "Why are cockatoos dropping gravel from the top of the apartment building next door?" (Column 8, Tuesday) - has been remarkable. The suggestions fall into three categories. First, the Aristotelian version, which states that they do it because they're weird, and it is in a cockatoo's nature to do weird things. Second, that they think the small pebbles are nuts, and that by dropping them from great heights they will crack open, yielding lunch. Last, that they are moving the gravel to get at the insulting membrane beneath, which they then tear into strips. No one has explained what the birds do with these strips of membrane as yet. But somebody will ...
"I think the Government's treatment of immigrants is catching on," writes Wendy Hallam of Mosman. "Yesterday, I saw a flyer taped to a lamp post outside the TAFE in Ultimo, offering a comfortable room in a shared apartment. The rent was $180 a week for an English-speaking person or $210 for a non-English-speaker!" Peter Rylands,of Braidwood, passes on the following technique for the quick and efficient disposal of infuriating telesales calls - the ones that inevitably arrive just as you've put that first forkful of dinner into your mouth. "Baffle them with old-fashioned technology that they don't understand," he suggests. "Tell them that you would be happy to see their offer in writing." And you needn't worry about a flood of junk mail, Peter reassures us. "I've been using this technique for a while now, and haven't received a single letter yet."This could explain a lot. Tim Birdsall, of Killara, tells of a fascinating article in SMH Online this week about a star being flung out of the Milky Way after orbiting a black hole. The piece ends as follows: "At this point, the outcast is about 180,000 light-years from Earth, in an outer region of the galaxy known as Reuters." Reuters reporters either file their stories very early indeed, or have got the jump on Stephen Hawking something serious.You might think that surfers yakking into waterproof mobile phones (Column 8, yesterday) was the ultimate in antisocial behaviour, but get a load of this. Horrified scuba diver Lorraine Lazzar writes: "On a recent dive, at eight metres underwater, I started to hear techno music and discovered that a diver near me had an underwater MP3 player. It's bad enough having to listen to my train neighbour's bad choice of music, but now I have the silence of the ocean interrupted."Ah, the little things that make life worth living. Susan Smith, of Greenwich, awards "Top marks to the employee of Woolworths, Northbridge Plaza, who took over my shopping trolley on Saturday afternoon when I was called away to help my husband, who had been involved in a bicycle accident. On my return two hours later, he not only took me straight back to my trolley, but was able to show me each of the cold items he had replaced from the fridge."column8@smh.com.au(no attachments, please).Phone 9282 2207 Fax 9282 2772.(Include name, suburb, daytime phone)
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